Lady In Red

Sup, ya’ll! It’s been a while, I know. I make no apologies because I made no promises as to how often I would write.

Still, I’m sorry anyway, because I’m mad at myself for having neglected my own personal therapy. I think I needed the time to adjust my attitude a bit. Shit was gettin’ a bit dark in my posts and that was not my intent for reviving my post writing or my therapy for that matter.

So let me start off with a bit of randomness. The title and cover photo for this post has absolutely nothing to do with anything at all. It will mean nothing to you.

Ever.

She is a model for Dixxon and Dixxon makes my favorite flannel shirts. Dixxon also one time claimed that all of their models were Dixxon employees.

The problem is, she modeled this shirt 2 years ago and I haven’t seen her since. The reason that is a problem is that I have a weird redhead obsession, despite the fact that my history with redheads always ends with them setting my life on fire, running away and laughing all the way.

Yet I keep going back to them.

*sigh*

Anyway, I developed a mad crush on Dixxon girl and I looked forward to seeing her model more of my favorite shirts and shorts and hoodies and . . . and . . . and . . . swimwear.

But it’s been 2 years and I haven’t seen her since and I want answers!! Was she fired? Quit? Decided not to model the products anymore? Somehow found out about my weird obsession, decided I was a weird old perv and quit modeling?

I want my imaginary relationship back and I’m not buying another Dixxon shirt until I find out where she went.

Also, I’m lying, I love those shirts.

Also, I’m broke and have no job so I couldn’t if I wanted to.

See, I’ve wasted the last 3 minutes of your life for nothing talking about something that, as I said, would mean nothing to you.

Just me dumping my weird ass brain on the keyboard.

Might be the new drug my psychiatrist just gave me. Something called Buspar. It’s supposed to reduce my anxiety and make me more comfortable around people and less likely to snap like a fucking twig when caught in a group larger than 3 people.

Good luck with that.

All in all, though, my head has been in a better place as of late. My thoughts are more positive and I’m actually enjoying some things again that I had stopped doing.

Today, for example, while I was making my dinner (the lovely feast you see below), I pulled out some vinyl and got my 80’s on while I made dinner. And cleaned, and emptied the dishwasher and . . . I’ll get into that in a minute because you’re gonna ask me why I just made an omelet, country ham and an english muffin but it took me 3 albums to get through it.

So why did it take me 3 albums to get what seems to be a fairly simple meal? There’s a few reasons.

• Realized I needed to empty the dishwasher and I’m almost out of JetDry so I have to dry everything by hand, then put everything away.
• Decided to take a smoke break, got sucked into the Facebook Hole of Doom and burned another half hour.
• Went back into the kitchen and pulled everything I needed out of the fridge and put it on the counter along with plate, utensils and any other accoutrements I needed. (Doing this from a wheelchair, it makes cooking a lot easier)
• Went in to change albums and for some reason, got sucked into Facebook Hole of Doom again.
• Realized I had cold shit from the fridge becoming not-so-fuckin’-cold anymore and went back in to make my meal.
• Chopped onions and Black Forest ham to go inside the omelet then began the omelet process.
• Buttered up the frying pan (Yer goddamn right it was Kerrygold!) put the eggs in the pan. A proper omelet is cooked on low heat, slowly. Added the ham and onion filling, cooked further to heat that as well.
• Finally moved the omelet to the plate in such a way that it folds over perfectly (this takes a little finesse when you’re not doing this on a commercial stove), put the cheese on top and covered the plate so it could melt.
• Proceeded to fry up the country ham and toast the muffins. (No finesse required)
• Uncovered the omelet, sprinkled it with parsley (for aesthetic purposes only), placed the country ham next to it and fixed up my muffins with my two favorite jellies.
• Yep, I wiped the edges of the plate to make it look good.

At this point, I had reached “The Grand Finale” on The Grand Illusion placing the cherry on top of my, actually pretty cool, afternoon.

Really, all this post was designed to do was to let ya’ll know my head is getting back into a better place, at least, my attitude is better and my posts should be returning to the funny and having a lighter mood.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still terrified about my financial state ($0) and when I’m going to finally find some work, I REALLY want to get out of this fucking wheelchair and maybe see something besides the inside of this house now and again, Dad tried to fuck up Thanksgiving as best he could which is par for the holiday course and I still kinda lose my shit in groups larger than just me, I just don’t let it show. I’ve had to get good at that one.

We’ll see how the new med works, but unless it gives me a job, it’s not gonna be the be-all-end-all answer. If it gives me a better outlook on all but one of those things that I can do something about, at least that will help.

I do want to say thank you to my readers and good friends that have checked in on me on a regular basis. They have texted, checked in with me on Facebook, and even visited me, one of whom even came to visit me when I was in the hospital and I had not seen her in over 35 years. She was an absolute ray of sunshine in what was otherwise a very, very dark time for me, and she was still just as beautiful as she was in high school.

The other visitor, also still just as beautiful as she was in high school, came by the house a couple weeks ago to visit and also to claim the Chicken Noodle Matzo Ball Soup I promised her.

I appreciate the hell out of all of you and hey, invite your friends over to check out my weird ass life too. I’ll try real hard to not stay away so long this time.

Until next time . . .

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